Everyday

You can buy the album on Bandcamp or listen to it on Soundcloud. Check out the album booklet!

I can't remember the moment exactly. I was in Oslo and we went with some friends for a screening of some alternative movie, I think it might have been a documentary. Either way, the theme was around the usual nature of the days in the week. Some of them would be for work (Monday), some for partying (Friday), some for chill and relax (Sunday). And then they said something along these lines: "But what if there was a day in the week that we always live to our fullest? When we do everything we really want to do, without fear or procrastination? What if we called such day... Everyday?"

I honestly can't remember more, even the quoted part above is just me paraphrasing. But the idea of "Everyday" stuck with me and it was around this time, in 2013 in Oslo, that I decided to start doing music a bit more seriously. Or perhaps, to put it in a different way, to do it more publicly. I did my first open mics, started jamming with others, embarked on my to-this-day-lasting busking "shadow" career. And I started writing songs, with "Everyday" being one of the first ones. Ok, there were songs before,  e.g. songs from our skiing trips or other trips with friends, or even my attempts at songwriting that never saw the light of the world (looking back at some of them, that's a good thing). But "Everyday" was the first song that I thought represents who I really am, a song in which I kind of injected part of myself, just like Sauron put part of himself into the Ring. Does it make sense? 

One of the first busking session, just after the
song Everyday was written

Ever since then, the idea of (perhaps, one day..) making an album was there. I started writing more, including some of the new songs in my busking or open-mic repertoire, doing my first "studio" recordings, albeit with admittedly shitty quality. I was both fascinated and intimidated by the idea of song-writing. Fascinated because sometimes the song would "hit me" out of nowhere in the middle of the street (like "Fargo and Pelgrim", or "When this is done" did) and I'd scramble to pull out a pen and paper or open my laptop to write it down. And intimidated because other times I would try hard to write or compose, ending up with nothing else than some cheesy lyrics and uninspiring music that I knew I'd never play again. For every song that I've recorded and published, at least 2-3 others didn't make it and ended up in the music graveyard (located by Swindon, just off M4). 

These "dead songs" were of different themes: songs about interesting articles I've read on the airplane, girls that occupied my mind long enough or places I visited and had a great time in. But in all cases, it somehow wasn't enough. The sentiments may have been strong, but the "songs just didn't care" and it'd feel like a struggle, pulling it out the thin air. And then I'd take a normal walk through London (ok, not completely normal as I left my phone at home!) and boom: "Walking on" was basically ready before I came home! 

Place where I started "Walking on" in London, still unaware there'll be a song at the end of it

I learned quickly that you "can't really push it" with song-writing, or at least not too much. But as Elizabeth Gilbert said in her TED talk, you've also got to "show up, to do your part". In other words, those hours of fruitless song-writing, scrapped song drafts and endless fiddling on the guitar may, perhaps, seem pointless to an outsider. But it's all part of it, a sign to that "elusive creative genius" that we're ready for them to come over. 

With a couple songs, I managed to "push it" a bit. "Hey Dad" was one where the time was ticking, as I wanted it to be ready (and recorded!) for my dad's birthday. "How I'll remember Cardiff" was another one, which was conceived after Alex told me that "before you leave Cardiff, you should write a song about it". However, I believe that this can only happen with certain songs - in both of the mentioned cases, there was enough substance basically ready (e.g. memories from Cardiff), so that when I came along and decided to write it down, it came out quite smoothly.

One of the most vivid memories from Cardiff
looks like this - view at The Hayes while
busking on a weekend morning

As difficult as I think songwriting can be, at first I didn't realize there's a whole new world just beyond it: the world of recording. While the writing is largely dependent on the sudden and elusive presence of creativity, the latter is much more about discipline, practice, patience and method. But the mountain to scale here is much bigger than one may initially think: "I just hit the recording button and play the song, right?" 

Not quite. Although what you can now listen to is just over an hour's worth of content, there are small sections (e.g. 2-3 sec) of individual parts (e.g. lead guitar) of a single song (e.g. "How I'll remember Cardiff") that would take twice, or even three times as long to record! Over and over I'd hit the delete button and try recording the same bit again, never quite happy with the result. And even once I'd finally say "ok, that would do", quite often I would later decide to re-record it again, perhaps because the effect wasn't like I wanted it to be in the first place, or I decided to use another guitar. 

Over time I realized that recording is not about taking a fully grown-up and finished song and "engraving it into an audio format". Quite the opposite - the song keeps evolving hugely and every new bit that's recorded sparks new ideas. Just like song-writing, I understood that one cannot simply force recording of a brand new song and instead I now adopt a slightly different process, which looks something like this: I record a quick demo version that gives a good enough idea, but is far from perfect. I then practice the song, even perform it at open-mics (e.g. my new song "Check, mate!", yet to be recorded!) and only then I'd sit down to properly record it. This way, I get a better feel for what I want the song to look like, I practice it and settle into it, and so recording feels less of a struggle. 

I realized this when recording "When this is done", a song that's probably my quickest one that got from conceiving to a fully recorded version that I did not touch anymore. But what a struggle it has been! Despite it being the most minimalistic song on the album (acoustic guitar and vocals only), I spent hours, if not days recording it over and over again, each time thinking "this is bound to be the final version" and each time being proven wrong. Compare that to "African bird" or "Let's go fail", which are some of my earliest songs recorded back in 2015. After playing the songs for years and listening to the original demo versions, re-recording them was a smooth process which took an afternoon or two.

"African bird" was conceived on this beach in Biriwa

Finally, as I started to think about finalizing and releasing the album, I realized there's some extra bit of work to do. Up until this time, I'd publish the songs on Soundcloud or YouTube, but I could (and would) always take them down and replace with a new version. I knew I won't be able to do this with an album, it being a sort of wax that seals the envelope which can no longer be opened and modified. Then again, I also wouldn't want to be changing those songs anymore!

My first " recording studio"
in my room in Oslo

The last stage of fine-tuning and producing thus began, balancing the volumes of individual tracks, tweaking the post-processing effects, normalizing the tracks etc. And yet again, I underestimated how much effort and time all of this takes, noting down new things to fix or improve every time I would listen to the songs again.

Despite all the "wisdom" I'm sharing above, I'm very much aware that the album is far from perfect. There are lyrics I'd like to have changed, bits of songs that I'd like to re-record, post-processing that I know can be done better... But I've reached the point when I'm simply at peace, even happy with how the album is and I feel it's the right time to publish it. And who says that one day I won't get this remastered, with session musicians doing all the parts, recording in a proper studio and a professional doing the music production? 

I've been working on "Everyday" for over 7 years, although the work was very much off-and-on. Sometimes, there'd be stretches of months when I wouldn't write a single word or record a single second of any song. Other times I'd get back to it again, each time slowly pushing the album towards completion. It was sort of like working on a long PhD thesis, just the result is slightly different here.

The best ever music corner, in my studio in
Cardiff

Now I know that my music is perhaps not the most popular style these days. I know that it won't be played at parties and I won't hit any Spotify records (perhaps because I may not actually put it on Spotify in the first place). But that's ok - I'm not publishing the album with hopes of "making it", or even with hopes of making any money of it. But if there is some audience that would sincerely think "hey, that's a good music" and enjoy listening to it, I'd be more than happy.

For me personally, however, "Everyday" is not just an album with 14 tracks. It's a cut through my post-university life, engraving my memories from all those years - memories of places I visited, people that were there and and experiences that affected or stayed with me. And on some level I really do feel like Sauron who cast part of himself into the ring. For as long as Everyday exists and is played, those 7 years of my life do too. 

So - is this it? 

For "Everyday", it is. But as for me - I'm gonna keep writing and recording new songs. Maybe another album, maybe a "more professional" one and maybe even with different styles. There are songs sitting on my drive ready to be produced, songs that I've written but haven't recorded yet and then there are songs that are yet to be written. And I feel like there's plenty more that can come, and it'd be a shame not to "show up for my part". After all, I've enjoyed the journey so far, so let's keep going. 

Stay tuned ;-)

You can buy the album "Everyday" on Bandcamp or listen to it on Soundcloud.